Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! Review

Directed by Monte Hellman (could his name be anymore appropriate for horror movies?)

Written by Rex Weiner, Monte Hellman and Arthur Gorson

"Laura..."

Another Christmas, another Deadly Night. I didn't expect much from the third movie in an already mediocre slasher series and boy, was I surprised at how bad this movie was. I'm actually impressed by the fact this series is somehow getting worse. Let's just get into this, shall we.

This movie mainly centers around a bind psychic called Laura. Yes, the main character is BLIND and the movie has the sub title of Better WATCH Out! That should be a good gauge of how bad this is. Anyway, because of her psychic powers and because they needed some kind of plot I guess, Dr. Newbury (Played by Twin Peaks star, Richard Beymer) tries to use her powers to contact a comatose Ricky, the killer from the original Silent Night, Deadly Night. Eventually, after being verbally abused by a drunk, perverted Santa, Ricky wakes up and spends the rest of the movie walking around like a zombie and trying to find Laura. There's a questionable scene where Ricky is hitchhiking and some trucker willingly picks him up despite the fact he's walking around in a hospital robe and his brain is exposed, HIS ACTUAL BRAIN IS EXPOSED AND THE GUY IS GAME TO PICK HIM UP. Ricky leaves a few bodies behind but every kill, except the last couple are off-screen. The one thing a slasher movie needs to keep you invested is the consistent kill rule. Even if your story is poor, you can still keep people invested by axing characters off in a creative way but even Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 can't at least do that for us. Maybe it would be worth it if the last couple of kills were spectacular, but no, he stabs a couple of people, the bread and butter of slasher kills and then dies from falling on a glorified splinter. Ricky brushed off a shotgun blast to the chest but a big stick was too much for him. I've seen a lot a bad horror movies but this is legitimately one of the most anti-climatic deaths I have ever seen. I say that, they imply he could be revived. I understand wanting to keep ideas open for a sequel but he was already braindead and he could bearer walk, so what state will he be in after a shotgun wound and an Impalement? This isn't a particularly long movie but it still felt like a slog after it's lack of drive and entertainment value. There is one funny shot where a guy dies after his phone call is interrupted and the girl on the other end continues to talk dirty to what is just a decapitated head. Literally the only piece of creativity on screen.

Laura is supposed to be nice but after being influenced by Ricky's mind, she acts like a class-one bitch for most of the movie, so she isn't the most likable. Her acting isn't very strong either, she screams a lot but she looks more amused than terrified. Laura is joined by her brother (Another Twin Peaks actor) and he's the most 80's dude looking dude to ever dude, I'm taking double denim here guys. Richard Beymer acts well enough, it's a shame it can't save the movie. Then again, James McAvoy at his best couldn't save this. I can't really rate Ricky, played by cult actor Bill Moseley (House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects) because his character is barely functioning, he only really shuffles around and gargles the main character's name every once and a while.

I also can't say much about the effects, like I said, all the kills are off-screen. There are some shots that merit some mention though, the decapitated head is believable enough, but I'm sure that's the actor's actual head sticking out of a table. I kind of like the idea of seeing Ricky's brain through a dome, there's even some gross liquid floating around in there, but once again, this doesn't last long, as his head is covered for the second half of the feature. What a way to waste what little you have going for you. The aesthetic of the movie isn't going to win you over, there are a couple of places that have gracelessly dressed-up for the Christmas festivities but you'll mostly be greeted by plain white scenery or dark rooms. Sorry Christmas fans, nothing to pepper your mint here.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 is the equivalent of finding a sack of coal under the tree and I know Christmas is really about spending time with loved ones but I would rather spend an hour and a half repeatedly walking on top of my brother's new Lego set then watching this again. A slasher movie with no slash and a Christmas movie with no spirit. Do not watch, Yule thank me later.

Rating: *

Better than > Generally don't think I've seen a worse Christmas horror movie Worse than > Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

Main pros - Richard Beymer - One okay shot

Main Cons - Bizarre story - Boring plot - Unengaging characters - Off-screen deaths - Flat on-screen deaths - No Christmas spirit